This summer, I was blessed with the great fortune of spending two weeks in Brindavan in Swami's divine presence as part of a group of 283 people from Region 10. The experience was enlightening and exalting. In such a short time, I learned more about God and about His love, about peace and selfless service, about the mundane and the divine, than I had learned in the previous 18 years of my life.

The first day we landed, as our group led bhajans (devotional songs) outside Sai Ramesh Hall in the afternoon, I went and joined in the back of the large group gathered there. As I sat and looked around, I felt a curious feeling of oneness with everyone around me. It was such an enchanting sight to see so many individuals, in so many shapes, sizes, and forms from all walks of life, young and old, weak and strong, all with the same purpose, all with the same goal in mind. They all yearned for Swami, knowing that He was a mere 100 yards away, in a building that we could all see. As these thoughts rushed into my mind, they overflowed through my eyes as tears streamed down my face. "Anandamaya Bhagavan, Hey Premamaya Bhagavan," someone sang.

After taking darshan for granted, I realized what it was to yearn for the mere sight of the Lord. As the days carried on, we all busied ourselves with spiritual exercises like singing, service, and meditation. In addition, we were all busy practicing for the programs we hoped to put on for Swami in His divine presence. After several days of waiting and begging the Lord to have mercy on us and bestow us with His divine darhsan, one day we were given hope that we would get to see Swami for the first time since we had arrived in Brindavan.

As we filed into Sai Ramesh Hall at 5:45 am, the volunteers told us to seat ourselves so we could see Swami's window. Of course, how could over 200 women sit with a clear view of the window? So we adjusted ourselves with heavy hearts, knowing that even if Swami were to appear at His window, we would not likely get to see Him. The men of our group were led to sit right outside the gates into Swami's house, while the women prayed that at least our menfolk would get good glimpse of our Lord. Suddenly, we heard shouts of "Swami, Swami!!" and "Sai Ram's" as the seva dals tried to maintain discipline. As the devotees trampled each other in order to try and get a view of Swami, He retreated into His room. We had missed our chance. Those among us that had at least seen a flash of orange were satisfied that their trip had been worth it. I, among many others, shed tears of disappointment and frustration that day, alternating between berating Swami and begging Him to tell me what I had done to deserve such seemingly "misfortune."

Over the next few days, Swami blessed us with speakers, Mr. Narasimhamurthy, and Dr. Venkatraman, and directed them to speak to us for an hour everyday. One day He sent sweets, and another day He sent calendars. We were all touched and amazed at His love and grace, but we were still starved for His darshan. Twice that week, we were able to see Him in His car, but we still weren't satisfied. We begged with tears in our eyes and despair in our hearts. And sure enough, exactly one week after we landed in Bangalore, Swami answered our prayers.

That morning, the women from our group were sent inside the Trayee gates, into the complex. As we sat and listened to the bhajans sung by the students, the reality of the situation hit home. There we were, sitting in the lawn outside the home of the Lord of the Universe and then, His shining face appeared at the window, His hand raised, blessing His devotees. As we gazed at Him in awe and devotion, He waved to us with a broad smile on His face, letting loose a cascade of tears from the eyes of each and every one of us. He then waved over our heads to the devotees still in Sai Ramesh Hall. That day, as we left darshan, the only thought in all of our minds was that of Swami's infinite love and compassion.

When we found out that the Sai Spiritual Education children had been granted permission to perform their play in Swami's physical presence, we were elated. The youth were given the opportunity to practice and sing two songs to welcome Swami into the auditorium. That day was also to be the first darshan after Swami's injury. As the first rays of the sun peeked out and the chanting began, the excitement was almost palpable in the air.

We all were seated, awaiting the arrival of the Lord. When we heard the Arathi begin outside in Sai Ramesh Hall, we prepared ourselves to begin our own Omkar. Swami entered in His golf cart as we began to sing our pledge to Him: "I will love you more and more each day, I will love you, dear Sai, forever and a day ..." When Swami descended from His golf cart and began to walk, assisted by several others, we felt His pain. The sight of our Lord in His condition was almost unbearable, as with every step He took, the pain was evident on His ever smiling face. But for the sake of His devotees, who were yearning for Him, He walked among us, smiling at us, asking after the welfare of several devotees, and listening to our songs of praise.

My childhood dream of singing in Swami's presence was finally realized. I could not contain my joy at seeing His Lotus feet, His beautiful crown of hair, and His brilliant robe a mere two feet in front of me. Truly, it was an experience I had never dreamt I could partake in. As Swami left the hall after the play was over, Arathi began and none of the children could contain their sorrow at seeing Swami leave.

As all of us sobbed, dismayed that our Sai Ma was leaving, His sweet smile and reassuring eyes reminded us that He would never leave our hearts. Although the experience of doing service and learning about Swami from people who have experienced His miracles and His divinity firsthand was definitely one worth having, the true reward of this trip came from my own heart. Knowing that I will treasure these memories in my heart to my last breath, I have relived those days many times since I have returned. And now, it is true for me that "Sai bhajan bina sukh shanthi nahin (One will find no peace without singing the Lord's name).