SYAN - Summer 2002 - A Laboratory of Love

A Laboratory of Love
A young adult evaluates the effects of service to elders on youth

USA Southwest, Region 9
Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Utah

The building looked fairly plain and utilitarian. The cars drove past the grilled gates and pulled over across a white sign that read 'Weyrich Healthcare'. I became conscious of my own nervousness, manifesting it in the constant licking of my lips. Being relatively new to Swami and the idea of service, the breakfast service project at the local healthcare shelter had been something of a shock. Nevertheless, something told me I was in for more at this site. Thankfully, or so I thought, the young adults were visiting the shelter with the Sai Spiritual Education (SSE) children; I could rely on the two groups to 'do the dirty work' while I sat back and watched.

Nothing I had been told quite prepared me for what I was about to witness. The first room we entered was filled with the 'healthier' patients, who nevertheless were on wheelchairs and hard of hearing. As the children sang, I snuck out into the lobby and peered cautiously into the room. Oddly, the other YAs and the SSE children seemed to be comfortable enough in this setting.

After the songs had been sung and the YAs and the SSE children were done chatting with the occupants of the first lounge, we went into another lounge known as the

'Special Unit'. This section consisted of patients with Alzheimer's and similar degenerative conditions. The room reeked of a distinct hospital odor. Looking at the residents, I took a step back. Most of them were not cognizant of the food on their faces, the phlegm oozing out of their noses, or their erratic motions across the room. I froze cold, unsure what to do. The rest of the volunteer group seemed unfazed, as they took their positions and began to sing. The weathered residents seemed to overcome the great forces of time as they lifted their old hands and started to clap. As the show went on, I felt my muscles relax. After the show, the wonderful band broke up and knelt down to chat with the audience they had just entertained.

Over the next few months, this scene re-enacted itself numerous times, except that I found myself gradually moving from my nook vantage point towards the center of the recurring drama. Four years since that first incident, the scene still re-enacts itself, but with different actors. The nervous author is now one of the more 'experienced' members of the squad and new members occupy the nooks. Based on my own experience, I was curious about how the service project had impacted the younger actors. What influence had group dynamics played? What were the differences in the way the same project affected different people. To study these issues, I conducted personal interviews with numerous YAs.

Interestingly, almost all the YAs I interviewed experienced similar emotions during their first visit to the nursing home - an overwhelming combination of shock, fear, and depression. Many doubted they ever wanted to return, but return they did, often more due to peer pressure and encouragement from the more experienced group members. Many of the YAs were saddened by the state in which these seniors were, and some were scared that one day, the same state awaited them. Most new volunteers typically defined their role exclusively in musical terms, choosing to avoid interaction with the residents for fear or discomfort.

However, every one of the YAs interviewed started to feel more at ease with the project because of the example of their peers. Soon, they began to break past the comfort barrier to begin to talk to residents.

Regular study circles assisted in their adjustment process. The Phoenix YA group frequently conducts study circles concerning what, in practical terms, it means to 'love' and to 'serve Swami' in our various service projects. Numerous YAs felt this was of tremendous assistance in bringing them to see that their true service was not in merely singing, but in relating to the residents.

The change in the attitudes of YAs who have been in this project is striking when one looks at their testimonies of the first trip and their current definition of the project. The young men and women who had once charged for the nooks today look at themselves as, as one YA put it, 'Swami's Little Angels'. Probably the most beautiful quote on the purpose of our project came from one young student: 'We are there to make them respond. If they express emotions, they are living their lives!'

So how had involvement with this service project changed them, I asked? While many were nervous about claiming to have undergone any sort of 'transformation' (a word often used so casually), there was a consensus on several items. The nursing home service project taught them to perform their duty with love and without regard for results. In fact, one of the constraints in dealing with elderly residents is that they are often physically unable to display signs of appreciation. At the other extreme, it is possible to find some residents who are rude, angry, or even critical of our efforts. But they have taught us to continue to go, and to accept criticism or even rejection with an open heart, something we were less likely to learn from our peers.

But more than that, the nursing homes appear to have functioned as a laboratory of love. Participants strive to connect with people who have very little in common with themselves, and whose physical appearance and surroundings are intimidating. YAs learn to go past these superficial differences and sometimes even past their own ego limitations, to make the people they serve happy. Indeed, few other service projects can claim to have quite the same quality of spiritual discipline as that of serving the elderly.